A Cutty Update and a Taste of Depression

Cutty Update

So if you are a regular, you may have noticed I haven’t done any newsletter and I haven’t really posted much lately. There’s a few good reasons and a couple not so good reasons.

First off, I’d like to thank everyone that visits this website and reads what I write – Without you, none of this would be possible.

So with that being said, it makes me feel bad when I don’t post frequent updates. Why? Because you lose reason to even come back to the site (if you decide you want to).

So far I haven’t held up my end of the bargain and my analytics show that too. So I’m going to try to write articles even if they are short, I will make sure to add as much value as I can.

The Good Cutty Updates

I don’t know if you’ve seen my transparency article but I am trying to build an empire. With this empire comes multiple websites and other entities to try to increase my reach and help as many people as I can.

One of my newest things I started working on to help increase revenue so I can live is an ecommerce store called Strength Junkies. Strength Junkies will sell strength training and gym equipment and expand into it’s own brand of straps, chalk, and more. Once I get the products mostly uploaded I will start doing sales and pushing the site much harder. I currently am an authorized dealer of Troy Barbell and BodyCraft. Check out the site and watch as it grows.

Check out the logos I had made:

Strength Junkies Logo

Strength Junkies Logo
I also have been working on another project…
For at least two years I’ve hated the way the Powerlifting Watch has looked, how it works, and everything about it.. but haven’t done anything about it. The SPF being banned from the site was my opportunity to try to jump in and get some recognition for the site I am building… and it worked. After everything is said and done though, the SPF is now back on PLW and things move on as if nothing happened… except one thing.
I have been developing the site called Powerlifting Source and I am following that dream to make a website that will be better than PLW in every way and hopefully get people to come use it instead of that dilapidated website. It’s going to take a little bit of time before it’s 100% done but I’ll have a lot of capabilities done shortly on it. I currently have 750 likes on the infant Facebook page that I started yesterday and those are just from the supporters that heard about the page from a few people.. so it’s going to be big. Be sure to like the page.

One Last Thing…

As hard as I’m trying to stay positive and motivated (which is why there are so many projects going) it’s hard to not want to sit up in a ball sometimes. I’ve been hit with a bit of depression and realizing I may need to get some professional help with some of the eating disorders I have. It’s to the point where I don’t want to train and it hurts to be up and move for long due to me sitting so much on the computer working.

I’m not sure how to fix that and it’s going to be a long process but I have to figure something out. I told my friends I would go with them to Florida in October but if I don’t lose what I feel is enough weight by then, I’m going to pay my way and just not go.

If you’ve made it this far I thank you and I hope you realize that we are all relatively similar in the fact that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. If you ever need someone to talk to about a problem you have, feel free to email me or whatever you’d like to do.

4 thoughts on “A Cutty Update and a Taste of Depression

  1. Kudos to you. Love the site and all the cool stuff your doing. As for depression all i can say is welcome to the team. Ive been dealing with it it for over a decade. It can cripple you. Get help asap. Meds do help. Good luck..:)

    1. Peter,

      Thanks for the kind words. I’ve been self medicating a little and it has its ups and downs.. the worst part is it makes me maybe want to eat a little bit more……….. heh.

      Once I get back on the horse and training again (even if I have to figure out a way to rent some space to build a home gym since I just don’t want to be around people) I know how to use that depression and anger in my favor.. it’s like a light switch and hell it allowed me to pull my PR deadlift after being out of training consistently for a year.. It’s a great tool to use and I just gotta keep trudging forward. I hope you are able to be on good meds to help you out.

      Thanks again for the kind words.

      Cutty

  2. I agree. For addiction, I have had a bad eating disorder for over 25 years and its ruined lots of opportunities and at my worst was 460lbs. There are group therapy groups and courses offered in lots of areas to look at the issues behind them. I myself have chronic long term dep, take multiple meds for it but like the other it can wreck your life completely. However, it is important to see someone who knows their shit and wont just say “oh you feel blue how about some Fluoxetine (prozac) or if you are hungry we can offer you sertraline (zoloft) or bupropion (wellbutrin) ” because its the only psych med they know. One script does not fit all. Funny enough GlaxoSmithKline was given one of the highest fines ever by the FDA a few years back for amoungst other things trying to market Wellbutrin to kids with eating disorders for which it is not approved. 3 Billion bucks. Enough blathering as im sure get the idea. I will say though before I leave that drugs are the last resort unless really needed for many things.
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
    Group Therapy
    Drugs
    but thats just my own opinion.
    Cheers Man Rob

    1. Rob,

      Thanks for the message. I’ve gained all of the weight back that I lost when I first started this journey and I’ve fought with suicidal depression and anxiety a lot of my life. I would like to go see a therapist to see if they can help me figure out the underlying issues. I hate that an eating disorder is on the fine line for most people as just pure gluttony and carelessness (which it’s not). I have stories for days about it and I hope I can find a therapist that would like to trade services or someone who specialized in that field. I’m not against drugs but I’ve watched my dad when he was alive try prozac and it ruined him.

      The only good thing about the extreme rage/depression type feelings I have, (when I did train religiously) is I could bring such intensity to the lifts and able to switch the fight or flight mode on demand that I was doing huge numbers (for me) and even able to do those same PRs after like 9 months of not training.. it’s a great tool to have but feeling useless and not even able to leave the house without feeling like everyone’s staring at you makes it hard to want to keep going you know?

      I hope you have been able to get under control and get things on the right path. You can always email me and talk if you’d like, cutty@cuttystrength.com.

      Cutty

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